Relationship Rescue: Review

Relationship Rescue by Dr Phillip McGraw

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com ReviewAs a follow-up to his bestselling book Life Strategies, Oprah acolyte Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D., moves from aiding the aimless individual to coaching the disconnected couple. McGraw has distilled his more than two decades of counseling experience into a seven-step strategy he calls "Relationship Rescue."

"I'm prepared to kick a hole in the wall of the pain-ridden, unhappy maze you've gotten yourself into, and provide you clear access to action-oriented answers and instructions on what you must do to have what you want," says Dr. Phil. His aim is to expose and eliminate the saboteurs that cause senseless damage to already-fragile marriages, and, like an emotional root canal, to replace them with values he says provide positive results. If you follow Dr. Phil's strategy, he will lead you on a precise journey to uncover your heart and then share it with your partner as part of taking the "risk of intimacy."

Dr. Phil leads you to "reconnect with your core" in the first five steps of his seven-step strategy. By no means a quick fix, there are in-depth and rigorous questionnaires, surveys, tests, and profiles that require a "brutally candid" mindset, with such fill-in-the-blanks as "List five things that today would make you fall out of love with your partner." With this internal work accomplished, you'll then move on to reconnecting with your partner during a two-week, half-hour-a-day short course. As a "dyad," you and your loved one take turns giving monologues on topics such as "The most positive thing I took away from my mother and father's relationship was..."

Once the "reconnection" has been established, Dr. Phil says the work shifts to a management role, as relationships are always a work in progress. Dr. Phil humorously refers to his own marriage throughout the book, sharing his mishaps and victories in learning to accept and enjoy what he sees as fundamental but complementary differences between men and women. --John Youngs

From Publishers Weekly

Oprah's relationship expert and the author of the hugely popular Life Strategies, McGraw offers a challenge to readers in troubled marriages. (Though he refers to "relationships," his comments about the roles of men and women make it obvious that McGraw has mostly traditional marriages in mind.) With typical frankness, the Dallas psychologist declares that the underlying reason that "your relationship is in trouble [is] because you set it up that way." Traditional relationship counseling doesn't work, McGraw says, so he dares readers to follow his multistep plan for "reconnecting," which demands honest exploration, through exhaustive self-tests and questionnaires designed to define each partner's needs and expectations. The last step of McGraw's program is probably the most difficult and rewarding: 14 days of structured reconnection exercises in which the partners share their deepest feelings. By participating with the required level of commitment, candor and seriousness, couples would seem to guarantee enhancing their relationships. Despite the strengths of his program, McGraw's compelling television presence doesn't translate well to the page. He reminds readers so often that the "reconnecting" process will not be easy or fun that at times he seems more hectoring than persuasive--not that this is likely to matter to his viewers and fans. One-day laydown on February 8; television and radio satellite tours. (Feb.) Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Okay, we all know you would have to live under a rock to not know who Dr. Phil is, and to know how he works. He is in your face, he doesn't care if it hurts, he is going to say what you need to hear whether you like it or not. I needed this kind of in your face lessons. It's true one must look at themselves first before they ask everyone else around them to change. Looking at myself has never been an easy thing to do. Hey, I am a work in progress.

I give this book 4 stars

This book falls into these challenges:

* The 2009 - 100+ Reading Challenge
* The 2009 Support Your Local Library Challenge
Until next time...
Happy Reading!

The Five Love Languages: Review

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Amazon.com ReviewUnhappiness in marriage often has a simple root cause: we speak different love languages, believes Dr. Gary Chapman. While working as a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, he identified five love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. In a friendly, often humorous style, he unpacks each one. Some husbands or wives may crave focused attention; another needs regular praise. Gifts are highly important to one spouse, while another sees fixing a leaky faucet, ironing a shirt, or cooking a meal as filling their "love tank." Some partners might find physical touch makes them feel valued: holding hands, giving back rubs, and sexual contact. Chapman illustrates each love language with real-life examples from his counseling practice.
How do you discover your spouse’s – and your own – love language? Chapman’s short questionnaires are one of several ways to find out. Throughout the book, he also includes application questions that can be answered more extensively in the beautifully detailed companion leather journal (an exclusive Amazon.com set). Each section of the journal corresponds with a chapter from the book, offering opportunities for deeper reflection on your marriage.

Although some readers may find choosing to love a spouse that they no longer even like –hoping the feelings of affection will follow later– a difficult concept to swallow, Chapman promises that the results will be worth the effort. "Love is a choice," says Chapman. "And either partner can start the process today." --Cindy Crosby.

Product Description

Are you and your spouse speaking the same language? While love is a many splendored thing, it is sometimes a very confusing thing, too. And as people come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes, so do their choices of personal expressions of love. But more often than not, the giver and the receiver express love in two different ways. This can lead to misunderstanding, quarrels, and even divorce. Quality Time Words of Affirmation Gifts Acts of Service Physical TouchDr. Gary Chapman identifies five basic languages of love and then guides couples towards a better understanding of their unique languages of love. Learn to speak and understand your mate's love language, and in no time you will be able to effectively love and truly feel loved in return. Skillful communication is within your grasp!

I have learned so much from this book, as well as King Baboon ( my hubby). We knew we loved each other, faced a hard moment in our relationship, and the end was looming in our faces. We are fighting those demons, because we love each other and our determined to make our marriage work. Although we both know we loved each other, we were giving each other the wrong kind of love. He was giving me the love he knew, the love he wanted, and I was doing the same. Now that I know what fills his love tank, and he knows what fills mine, we are back to what's really important... each other!

I give this book 5 stars out of a possible 5 stars! Pick this book up, even if you are in what you and your spouse believe to be a solid relationship, our relationships are always in a need of a tune up.

This book falls into these challenges:

* The 2009 - 100+ Reading Challenge

* The 2009 Support Your Local Library Challenge

After reading the copy from the library I ran out and bought it, and that says a lot because I have trained myself not to buy many books from the bookstore, we would go broke if I did!

Until next time...
Happy Reading!